Wedding Crashers... Outdated?

Wedding Crashers is one of my favorite movies for laughter.  The film is funny.  But watch it a little closer, especially the wedding ceremonies.

Boy, oh, boy, have times changed.

There's a scene where the sister of the bride is reading a piece of Bible scripture from the pulpit. It's 1 Corinthians 13:4 - 8.

"Love is patient, love is kind..."

It used to be a traditional piece of scripture used in nearly every church wedding.

However, in today's world, fewer people are attending church.

As a result, Bible scripture use in wedding ceremonies has fallen by the wayside.

More often, the Bible isn't mentioned.  God may or may not be mentioned.  It's become optional.

Now, if there is anything spiritual, we use a simple prayer and/or a blessing of the couple.  Short and sweet.  Why?  Most couples describe themselves as spiritual, but not religious, so the ceremony also reflect those views.

Instead, the entire day is focused on the couple and their story.

Ultimately, if a couple still wants to hear scripture about "love," they simply need to request it from the officiant.

Whether scripture is offered to you or not, it's your day.  It's your choice.  And the ceremony belongs to the newlyweds.

Crystal Ball... The Perfect Wedding, Please

The perfect wedding.

It's what every bride and groom wants.

It's what the parents of the bride wish for.

It's what the parents of the groom hope for.

Everyone dreams of ... the perfect wedding.

The truth is that it doesn't exist.  There will be little glitches that make it all your own.

So what if the flower girl doesn't do her job and gets sidetracked... it's adorable.


So what if the groom gets nervous and forgets to bring a piece of paper with his oh-so-special wedding vows... trust me, his spur of the moment off-the-top-of-his-head wedding vows will be far more memorable.

So what if you forget to take a family picture with the one person who flew in from another country to attend the wedding ceremony.  He can send you a picture of himself later.

Be a dreamer, but understand and accept that every wedding is different for a reason. And those little moments that stray from the planned schedule make the day completely yours.

At the end of the day... you will remember every joyous moment and be grateful because you are now married.

"Ladies and gentlemen, for the first time, I introduce to you..."

That's the moment you'll remember for a lifetime.

Real Price of an Average Wedding... the Median?

There's a fascinating article from The Slate:

The Wedding Industry's Pricey Little Secret: That widely used "average wedding cost" figure is grossly misleading. Here's a much accurate number.

So, you can spend very little on a wedding if you want to but you have to be savvy.

You can elope and spend less than a few hundred dollars.  You can have a simple backyard wedding with family and friends along with a backyard reception and spend a few thousand dollars.  Or you can go all out and have a lavish wedding at a destination location and spend thousands of dollars that could potentially be used for a home purchase.

Look at this photograph.  The last time I was in Hawaii, this happened.  I'm sitting on a beach sunning myself with other sunbathers and people who were enjoying the beach in Hawaii, when a couple walks in front of us with a simple photographer that starts snapping pictures.  Notice the sunbathers in the photograph.  This was the heavily populated Waikiki Beach.

My take:  I thought this was brilliant, beautiful and simple.  And why not?  It was a moment for the couple.

The whole point of a wedding ceremony is getting married and joining together for life. You can spend a fortune, but it's not a requirement.

My advice is to set a budget and stick to it.  You shouldn't be paying for a wedding ceremony or a big party for the next two decades if you can't afford it.  There are many choices.  Don't compare yourself to your friends and neighbors.  Always look at your options before going into deep debt.  Remember: Weddings are joyous occasions whether they're simple or elaborate.  And no matter how much money you spend, the service will be memorable.

Filming Your Wedding...by Drone?

That's right folks.  Welcome to 2015!

More couples are filming their special day by drone photography.

If you think about it for a second, it makes sense.  I think it's a great idea to get overhead shots. You'd have to hire an experienced photographer with extensive drone experience to make sure you got the right shots.  But after that, it's footage that you would keep for the rest of your life and share for your friends and family on YouTube or in a keepsake DVD.

One day you could even share the video with your children.

Neat idea!  Welcome to the world of wedding drone photography.

Big Fake Weddings... Vendor Showcase Products

The Big Fake Wedding is a genius idea.

It's an event to showcase the vendors that are available for real weddings. The Big Fake Wedding promotes small businesses that help brides and grooms across this country.

The cost to attend one of these events is only $25.

The Big Fake Wedding is being touted as the ultimate wedding experience.

It includes a couple renewing their wedding vows in a special ceremony, a light dinner, a dance-party reception and a swag bag.

What a terrific way for couples that are engaged to see what they want for their own weddings.  It's a win-win idea for the couple and the vendors by bringing everyone together in one event.

You can attend The Big Fake Wedding in Atlanta, New York City, Minneapolis-Saint Paul, Greenville, Phoenix, Dallas, Seattle, Charleston, Austin, Asheville, Raleigh, Houston, and New Orleans.

Now, they need one of these in Los Angeles to see all of the wedding vendors!

Sounds like great fun in sampling a wedding!

Pastor Focuses on Bride and Groom

The wedding day belongs to the bride and groom.

So much so, look at this video of a beautiful wedding ceremony.  The pastor stays out of the way of the beautiful couple and puts the couple center stage for the videographer, the photographer, the immediate family and all of their friends.

I agree with this pastor's basic approach.

It's not about the pastor.

It's not about the officiant.

It's about the couple.

It's about the wedding ceremony.

Microphone stands get in the way of the best photography of the couple so I prefer not to use a mic stand.  Wireless microphones are all the rage at weddings for obvious reasons.

Make sure you can hear your bride and groom, not only the officiant.  Wireless microphones should be shared between the officiant, the bride and the groom.  If you have a speaker sharing a poem or scripture, that speaker should also have a microphone.  Microphones are critical in any ceremony so people can hear the audio.

Another element of importance:  Make sure everyone can see the couple.

See how the couple in the video above is turned to the side.

Over the course of my lifetime, I have attended so many weddings where the service is more about the pastor and the couple is turned toward the pastor the entire time. All I can see is the backsides of the couple.  You can't hear the couple's vows, you can't hear them commit to marriage, and you only hear mumbles of sounds from the stage.  So, now you've seen nothing and heard nothing.  What was the point of that wedding that cost $37,000 if no one can hear it or see it?

Brides and Grooms:  Get your money's worth and speak up about the details.

The day belongs to you, so make sure your officiant knows your preferences up front for photography and viewability.  It's your day.  You only get one chance.  Make it special and memorable for everyone.

Wedding Vows: You Always Remember the Day You Say "I Do"

No matter what happens, you will always remember the day you agree to share your life with someone else.

Wedding vows are so very important.  And saying those vows in front of God, your family and your friends heightens the importance of those vows.

"For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health..."

My mother removed the word "obey" from her wedding vows way back in the 1950s. She was ahead of her time.  Fewer couples in today's world choose to use the word "obey" in their wedding vows.

Even Kate Middleton removed the word "obey" as did Princess Diana.  Instead, she said "love, comfort, honour and keep."

Another sentiment in the traditional wedding vows that has disappeared are the words "til death do us part."

By eliminating that part of the wedding vows, does that mean marriages aren't forever anymore?

Most couples tell me that they simply don't want to hear the word "death" in their wedding ceremony. They aren't thinking about the longevity of the relationship or divorce, but they're thinking about the wording.  Death is considered a downer and depressing.  Why bring it into something bright, shiny and new such as the beginning of a marriage?

The bottom line:  The wedding vows belong to the couple.  Think about what you want to hear in the ceremony and what you are willing to commit to in your marriage.

Howard Stern's Toast at Jennifer Aniston's Wedding

Jennifer Aniston is a married lady!  She apparently married her beau Justin Theroux in a secret wedding at her home in Bel Air.

Her dress was reportedly off-white and strapless.

It doesn't matter that she was married before to Brad Pitt.  She can wear whatever color she'd like - it's her wedding!


Their rings were designed by Jennifer Meyer (Tobey Maguire's wife and Ron Meyer's daughter).

Howard Stern toasted the couple.  (Stern says Robert Downey Jr. was not at the wedding and did not toast the couple as reported earlier.)

For ten minutes in his wedding toast, Stern told his radio audience that he spent most of the toast complaining about the poofy chairs and the fact that they confiscated everyone's cell phone from them so they wouldn't take photos at the wedding.  (This has become far too common at events throughout Los Angeles to confiscate everyone's cell phone at the door.  That includes low profile events and free movie screenings.)

Stern also exposed the fact that Jimmy Kimmel conducted the wedding ceremony.  Fascinating.

Now, the couple is honeymooning in Bora Bora along with their actor friends Jason Bateman and Courteney Cox.  Stern and his wife, Beth, were also invited to Bora Bora but declined the invitation.

It's nice to know the party goes never ends.  If you can afford it, why not?  Bring everyone in your family and all of your friends on your honeymoon.

This couple will not need to worry about finances.

Jennifer's net worth is $150 million.  Justin's net worth is $20 million.

Anything in the millions means they're both grand successes!

Congratulations to the lovely couple!  May you live happily ever after...

Pre-Planning Dances at Weddings

This is the icing on the cake!

When you pre-plan a special dance by the wedding party, it's pure entertainment.

It doesn't have to be a big moment like this one that garnered 1.6 million views, but it can be a special moment if you've done a little planning for your reception.

Dance or no dance, the choices are yours to make.  Three cheers for the dancers on the dance floor!

This will leave all of your guests smiling!

Video When Someone Dies Before Your Wedding

We like to think about joyous times, but the truth is we never know the exact moment when someone will die.  Especially, before a wedding.

This is why I like to recognize by name those who are with us in spirit while at the wedding ceremony.  It might be a parent, grandparent or someone special that we would like to recognize. I learned this from a very wise pastor friend of mine who conducts weddings and funerals.

This video is from one of those special weddings... where everyone was remembered, especially the bride's father during the father-daughter dance.  Several men stepped in with love.

Best Brother Speech... One for the Books

There are legendary best man tributes and toasts to the couple on their wedding day... and honestly, that moment can steal the show, but only momentarily.  After all, the show is about the bride and groom.

But isn't it nice when someone in the wedding party surprises the entire crowd and relieves a little stress of the day by making everyone laugh?  The guests are all sitting down.  Their feet hurt a little in their new shoes.  And you've got a built-in audience who is ready to love everything you have to say.

Laughter and joy at a wedding are welcome commodities.  Choose the people giving your tributes and toasts carefully and it will be an incredible surprise to everyone!

Getting Hitched: Average Cost of a Wedding

Weddings are brilliant affairs.  But there's so much to consider when organizing a wedding.

Earlier this year, The Knot released its annual study of wedding costs and trends.

According to the study, the average cost of a wedding is $31,213.

In Los Angeles, California the average cost of a wedding is $37,317.

Manhattan, New York has the highest average with a cost of $76,328.

And none of those averages include the honeymoon.

The most popular months to get married:  June and October.

The venues are changing, too.

According to the study, only 28% of couples held their ceremony in a religious institution, down from 41% in 2009.

More couples are going to venues such as historical buildings and remodeled bars on farms.

In fact, my nephew and his wife held their wedding ceremony outdoors on a beautiful green landscaped farm and the reception was held in an upscale remodeled barn.  It was a stunning location.

The choices in today's wedding world are endless.

You special day can range in price.

Whether your wedding ceremony and reception are simple or extravagant, just make sure it's special and memorable for both of you.

How Should He Propose?

Every girl dreams about the day a man gets down on one knee and proposes marriage.

It's a special moment that you can never get back, so it should be memorable.

One man put a full plan into effect... that involved a bunch of people exercising in Zumba class.

Memorable?  Yes.

Are they married now?  Yes.

There are some amazing proposals that have been caught on film.

With 32 million views, this is another one of my favorites.

Notice... everyone gets down on one knee.  Details matter.  Cheers for each proposal!

What Husbands Want From Wives... What Wives Want From Husbands

No one is in marriage standing alone.  It comes with a partnership and understanding.

When you're planning for your wedding and thinking about sharing your future with another person, you have to be smart and proactive in facing a life with someone else.

This is the reason many couples choose to take part in a few sessions of pre-marital counseling.  This helps them prepare and get some advice on what works.  It takes two people to make it work.  One person cannot do it alone.

Remember that book from the 1990s, "Men Are From Mars and Women are From Venus?"  Men and women are totally different in their approach and their needs.  They can balance each other as long as both parties understand the differences.

There are two great articles from Wedding Officiant and Pastor Dave Page on The Overwhelmed Bride.

The first article is entitled "10 Things Husbands Want From Their Wives."

The second article is entitled "10 Things Wives Want From Their Husbands."

If you're getting married or if you're already married, these are must reads.  You might see yourselves in some of these tips or you might get a laugh.

Look at what Pastor Dave lists as the 10th thing that wives want from their husbands:

Chocolate!

If a pastor gives that advice, husbands and future husbands better pick up some chocolate treats on the way home from work today for your sweetie.

The love that lasts is the love that pays attention.

Father-Daughter and Mother-Son Dance

If you're planning your wedding, always remember the details and include both sets of parents.

There's an incredible video circulating online and it focuses on a mother-son dance.

The bride actually posted the video from a few years ago because her mother-in-law has passed away and she wanted to honor her husband and share an incredible moment from their wedding day.

This video made me tear up because it's one of those incredible decisions that made an impact on everyone who was present for the couple and the families.

They very easily could have eliminated that dance but they didn't. They knew how important that dance was that day.

And that decision made all the difference in the world.

More than 10 million viewers agree, this is spectacular... and it will be remembered for a lifetime.

Weddings Should Be One-of-A-Kind

This is your wedding.

This is your special day.

Be as creative as possible.

Make every moment one-of-a-kind.

Make this day stand out from all of the other days in your life to remind everyone of the importance of this moment.

Before your friends and family, you will be making a statement of commitment for life.

Having a wedding is a serious decision so both parties have to be certain they are in this together, hand-in-hand, heart-to-heart, and committed to a lifetime of love.

I believe in love.  And I believe in the power of a beautiful wedding.

Watch this video and tell me... why this mother saved a letter for 20 years for this special day.

That expresses the importance of a wedding day.